I would love to be updating this more – and as soon as I’m done at my job come next month or so I will! But right now after a full day of work I come home and want to do nothing. I’m lucky if I don’t fall asleep on my way home for work even. I am 16 weeks prego and the last pic we took was at 12 weeks – and I can’t get the energy to even change into the outfit and find a place to hand the frame here at our new casa. I’m going to try to get motivated this weekend – here’s hoping!

I am a little bitter because the truth is I feel like even today, my day off, I don’t have enough energy to actually do a dang thing. I woke up as Jeremy was leaving for work around 6:30 – then could not fall back asleep. Finally when I did I kept waking up – so finally I got the strength to get out of bed and have some breakfast. I also took the doggies (Wrigley and my in-laws dog, Layla) for a walk like I do every morning, and then made it to Hobby Lobby and back. Now, after finishing lunch, I feel like I could go to bed again. UGH. The baby is stealing all my energy!!

In the meantime, on this lovely day off – now that all the crazy-arse moving is over (thats a story for another time – maybe when it’s not all so fresh!) I’m going to take some time to do things I enjoy – not things that HAVE to be done! So today I’m going to start knitting a baby blanket (and am going to catch up on Private Practice). This is the one I’ve selected ::

The pattern is called the “Garter Rib Blanket” and it claims to be great for beginners. I have several stitches down, but this is the first time I’m following a pattern – so here’s hoping I can even sort of pull this off! I’ve started with yarn called “Simply Soft” or something – it was the correct weight but wasn’t exactly the luxury I wanted. But I assumed that I should try this, see how it goes, and if I’m rocking it out I will do another one in the special yarn I REALLY wanted.
Dream big, huh? I’ll keep you posted…

We found out a 2 weeks ago that our landlord will be selling our townhouse – so we are homeless. Okay, thats of course dramatic. Because look who’s talking but seriously – when you are in the unsure situation that we are – it’s a little difficult to figure out what to do.

See – Jeremy is on the “short list” at work. Basically it means at just about any moment, a position could open up and he’d be up for it. When he gets one, we are expected to pack up and move wherever within a month or so. Literally – WHEREVER. See this ::

We could literally go ANYWHERE on there. And do I need to remind you that ready or not, a baby WILL be joining our family in October! So I proceeded to enter into full breakdown mode.

Our options were simple – get an apartment, and either pay lots and lots to do month-to-month (which few places offer) – or sign a lease and hope that breaking the lease won’t totally break the bank. OR – our second option – to move in with the in-laws.

We made the decision that because we have a pricey lil baby coming along – we didn’t want to lose tons of money on breaking a lease. So – we are moving in with the in-laws. Cause we’re crazy

I lived with my in-laws while we were engaged – while my old lease was up and before we wanted to get into our new place. Jeremy and I were not going to live together before we got married – so I took advantage of the in-laws generosity, and large home – and it went great. I had plenty of my own space and it worked out really well. But now we are married – so this is going to be a whole new ballgame.

We have set the boundaries of the moment one of us feels like we are going crazy, we get our own place. And if we don’t move before August, then we are getting an apartment. I refuse to have this baby while living with the in-laws.

The truth is, its a huge blessing. I get along very well with my mother-in-law and she’s been a great support to me over the years. We know we have the flexibility to pack up and move WHEREVER whenever if we are staying with them. And Jeremy is still feeling like it could happen before the baby comes – so that flexibility is awesome. And the savings will be great.

So thats where I’ve been the last few weeks. Losing my gosh darn mind. And now we have to pack everything up for storage..I probably need to go get busy now!

I just want to share with you a conversation I had with my darling husband in the car on the way home from Boulder tonight::

Jeremy asked :: “At what point during pregnancy do you have to stop driving”

Me :: “WHAT?!”

Jeremy :: “Well when do you get so pregnant you can’t drive anymore?”

Me :: “Um, never.”

See – I have the habit of over thinking everything – and vividly imagining things as the worst possible scenario realizing itself in my life. So lately I’ve been pretty successful at freaking myself the heck out about having a baby.

What am I scared of?  Several things. Here goes ::

I’m horrified of a baby will simply be a not-so-happy baby. My mom always says how I just screamed and screamed when I was a baby. I was just not so happy until I started learning to crawl, and then I was happy. I just get so scared that I’ll have this baby who cannot be soothed, who is colicky, has acid reflux, or some other issue.

I have a real fear of being tired all the time, not being able to sleep, and having a baby that keeps me up ALL the time. My sister just had her second child, and Easton is having a hard time getting in a good sleeping rhythm. So now I imagine myself being miserable and tired for the first several months after the baby comes.

This is my worst fear…well one of them. I’m so scared that baby will come, and Jeremy and I will struggle figuring out our marriage when we are parents.

And then I’m just scared I’ll end up sad and depressed. I’m scared I’ll have little time for friends, or to even shower and get ready in the morning with a new baby. I hear these horror stories about not being able to get a shower until your hubby gets home…or not seeing your friends who don’t have kids anymore…or getting frumpy and lazy about your clothing choices because you are so tired you just wear whatever’s easy.

The thing is – I KNOW how ridiculous I sound. I get that people have babies all the time, and it’s wonderful and rewarding and they all still have full lives. But it’s so hard to get my head out of this freak out mode and really start feeling like things WILL work out – and God IS in control. I know that the Lord has stretched my world in the past…I mean I freaked out about marriage and what that huge change was going to be like – and it’s been the greatest blessing in my life. But right now I just feel scared and a little sad that everything has to change.
I AM excited – don’t get me wrong. I’m so blessed that it happened so quickly for us, and that things are moving forward in such a healthy way! I am thankful, and know that I WILL get out of this funk. But for today…I just feel a little freaked out about how different life is going to be and if I’m really ready for it all! I think as time goes by, I will feel more secure and ready…here’s hoping!

So I thought I’d put together some helpful pointers in talking to me – and perhaps other pregnant women.

• Stop staring at my belly - I am not showing yet, I’m just bloated. I understand a glance to see if I am yet or not, but when throughout our conversation you stare at my stomach region, I get a little self-conscious. Yeah, I’m bloated. I know. I don’t need you keeping track!
• Please don’t share your horror stories - I understand that if you’ve had a crazy experience, there is temptation to want to share it with me. But if your birth story or pregnancy included something traumatic or horrific, I’d prefer not to hear all the gruesome details right now. I am completely prepared that carrying a human or shooting a whole person out of my whoo-ha is not going to be a walk in the park, but I have to do it no matter what. So your scare-the-bajeezus-outta-me story isn’t particularly helpful in my preparations.
• Do pray for me & family - Obviously only if you have a relationship with the Lord where this is something you are comfortable doing! But it’s meant so much to me to know my community of women at work has been covering me in prayer – and that even my high school girls are praying for my lil one. It’s huge for me.
• Ask how I’m feeling - I’ve had people ask how I’m doing physically – if my morning sickness is improving – what I’m able to eat – and these are all really great ways to check in on me if we aren’t close. But if we ARE close – ask me how I’m feeling. I’m overwhelmed and scared more than I want to admit sometimes, and it’s nice to know people care…and maybe that I’m not alone in it. Talking through it helps me deal. So if we are good friends, be willing to go there with me. And don’t misunderstand that I’m still REALLY excited. But its still change.
• Let me know you’ll be there after the baby comes - I’ll be honest that sometimes I’m so overwhelmed thinking about what life is going to be like after the baby is here. Will I still have friends? A life? Will I have any help? But the other day my super sweet friend Angela asked me for my due date again so she could put me on her schedule so she can be sure she gets a sign up out to our marriage class at church for meals for us. I wanted to cry right there. When I’m feeling overwhelmed about the major life change, the idea that we won’t be all by ourselves is huge.

I have been overwhelmed by this season in life – and some days get the best of me! I appreciate my friends who keep reaching out and checking how I’m feeling – or will ask if I need a lunch date to make it through the day (thanks Laura!). I am very excited, but there are lots of things that are going to change, and I feel a little overwhelmed thinking about it all! So thank you for all of you who’ve supported and loved me in this season – and taken the time to understand how I’m doing! I’m blessed to have you all in my world!

I have a few friends who are getting close to either trying or talking about trying or someday thinking about trying And I wish people had given me some really thorough advice as to what the heck can help you from tossing your cookies every day!  So here is my list for you ladies – the items that helped (even if just a little) keep me sane and take the nausea down a notch.

1.) Lemonade – People had suggested sucking on lemons-I just couldn’t do that. But lemonade gave me a great balance of the lemon kick – and some sweetness. I also had a hard time drinking water – it felt like it sloshed around in my tummy. Ginger ale is also

2.) Sea-bands - My sister’s wonderful friend Kat suggested that I try these – which are made for sea-sickness, but have worked great for women with morning sickness. Mine worked great – I even slept in them a few nights when things got really bad.

3.) Strawberry Applesauce - Plain applesauce was not doing it for me, so this stuff was perfect. Really bland and easy on the tummy, but the strawberry added enough flavor to make it a nice change from toast.

4.) Peanut Butter - on toast, crackers, whatever – this stuff was yummy and added protein to my very carb-high diet.  I kept graham crackers with peanut butter by my bedside to eat in the middle of the night (after I got up to pee), and this made all the difference! It made the mornings much more bearable! I also tried to eat some peanut butter and crackers or toast, or something with my nightly vitamins to help. I also love cinnamon-sugar on toast!

5.) Gummy Vitamins - I called my dr after it got really bad, and they told me to modify my vitamins. That if I needed to take one without iron for the first trimester, we could add more in later – or if my iron is high enough throughout, we’ll be fine anyway. So I switched to gummies that had no iron, and were easier going down than throwing back the horse pills that are many prenatals!

6.) Einstein’s Bagels - Their cinnamon-sugar bagels make me happy! The cinnamon was nice, and somehow seemed to calm my tum – and the carbs were very gentle on my stomach. Yum.

Oh and one that I did not include in the photo but is HUGELY important – SUPPORTIVE HUBBY!! My amazing husband did everything from the dishes, make me pasta, pick me up food, run to the store for me at weird hours for the only things that sounded appetizing to me…he was amazing. And oh so patient while all I wanted to do was lay on the couch for weeks. Super exciting life we lived. I’m a lucky gal.

Hope this helps some of you ladies in the future!!

Anyway – I’m good now – and it feels SO good to just get the info out there!! I’m such an open book it’s very difficult for me to keep things a secret from people in my life! So it feels SO GOOD to get it all out there!!

Here are some pictures my best friend Jamie did for us – while I do look incredibly bloated in them – I’m happy we had a fun way to share our news! Check out Jamie’s website at www.jamiebethphotography.com

Couldn’t you just die?! He’s SO CUTE!! I mean – so cute that I, in fact, feel bad for my future children. My sister and brother-in-law make the most beautiful babies…and I am actually a bit worried my children will not be able to compete!

But in all seriousness – my sister was such a trooper. She got to the hospital and was too far along to get an epidural – so all natural for her! So proud of her!!

Anyway – SO happy to be an auntie x2! I love this job!  Here’s Brooklyn meeting her new baby brother – so much cuteness!